If you’re a woman, your boyfriend might have given you a reason to think he’s gay or interested in men after you’ve seen certain characteristics of him. Sexuality is highly complex and sensitive, and there are many inaccurate stereotypes that don’t really reflect a person’s sexual orientation. Although you won’t know for sure until he tells you, being aware of potential warning signs can make it simpler to strike up a conversation. The full list of possible indicators that your boyfriend might be gay is provided further on in the article.
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9 Best Signs to Find Out
These may not be conclusive evidence that your boyfriend is gay on their own. However, it makes more sense to assume that your boyfriend is at least bicurious the more of these 15 signs you notice.
He Became Uneasy With the Topic of Homosexuality
It might be due to his suppressed feelings if your boyfriend behaves homophobically around gay men or feels awkward when discussing gay men and bisexual relationships. So, if your boyfriend becomes repulsive about such topics or individuals, it could be one of the signs that he’s gay.
He Prefers the Attention of Other Men to That of Women
Most people enjoy being the center of attention, but most straight men favor attention from the opposite sex. If your boyfriend seems to prefer attention from guys – and frequently does things to attract it – this might one of the other signs that he’s having homosexual thoughts.
His Dirty Talk Or Fantasies Involve Other Men
If it comes up infrequently and his arousal disappears when you’re not involved, it’s probably just a kink or fetish about a specific scenario. If he regularly expresses this desire, though, it’s possible he has an attraction to other men. A situation where you watch him and another man or repeated pressure for a trio with two men could be warning signs. There are a lot of reasons a straight man might have these fantasies, including cuckolding kinks or even past sexual abuse. Approaching this subject should be done with tact.
He is Suspicious of Your Relationship
He may be losing interest in you and looking for reasons to end the relationship if he expresses uncertainty about your relationship with him. But if his reservations about your relationship are present in addition to other gay-identifying characteristics, it is also possible that he is attracted to men.
He Does Not Go to See Other Women
If he also openly checks out other guys, this is more significant. Watch to see where his focus shifts when you’re in public or around other people. He might be concealing a hidden attraction if he purposefully isn’t looking at anyone or if his gaze wanders frequently to other men. If he doesn’t investigate anyone, he might also be asexual or uninterested in relationships. It’s likely a straight guy would try to avoid looking at other women while you’re around to avoid offending you. Search for oblique signals rather than overt gestures.
He’s Too Close to His Best Friend
Has it occurred to you that his intentions go beyond simple friendship? Look for signs of intimacy beyond typical friendship. When you’re with your boyfriend and his BFF, you might sense exclusion or like a third wheel, which indicates that he might be secretly attracted to the other person. Some signs might be: He presents his male friend with expensive gifts. In front of other people, they exchange hushed glances or whispers. You get the feeling you “walked in on something” when you encounter them together.
He Seems Emotionally and Physically Detached from You
One of the most significant and obvious indicators that your boyfriend might be gay is this. While wanting you to feel more at ease before asking you for sex may indicate that your boyfriend is being considerate, if he seems emotionally distant from you, it may indicate that he is cheating on you or has different sexual preferences. He doesn’t often initiate romantic conversations or make eye contact with you, as you may have noticed.
His Friends Are Gay
As the quote goes, “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are,” people around us give a lot of impressions about our liking, personality, and character. While straight men typically hang out with other guys because some find it awkward to be around gay people, if your man has a lot of LGBTQ+ and gay friends, this might be a warning sign. So, look out with whom your boyfriend hangs out the most and how deep their relationship is. Even though things don’t always turn out the same, it occasionally holds true.
Ask Him
The best course of action is to calmly discuss this with your boyfriend. A safe and friendly conversation will help things get resolved more quickly and bring peace of mind if your suspicions are justified. Keep in mind that sexuality is extremely complex and encompasses more than just gay and straight people. Your boyfriend might be bisexual, asexual, or only marginally attracted to men while preferring an intimate relationship with a woman.
What Should You Do If You Find Out Your Boyfriend is Gay?
Here are five tips that may help you:
- When you realize or even strongly suspect him to be gay, talk with him rather than make assumptions. Nevertheless, be cautious to avoid being combative and instead be cordial.
- Don’t force your relationship on him.
- Don’t discuss your boyfriend’s sexuality with others or publicly reveal him for his social, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s possible that he’s still coming to terms with his sexuality or that he’s hiding it for some other reason.
- Make a choice whether you want to be in this relationship or not because gay or bisexual individuals often want to continue to be in a normal relationship with the opposite sex due to societal or family pressure.
- Since society still has stereotypical thoughts about the LGBTQ+ community, if your boyfriend reveals it to you, try to be empathic, listen, and support him.
Final Thoughts
There are real-life examples of couples like “Ross and Carol” in the American show “Friends” who became lesbians after they got married. If you think your boyfriend is acting gay, but don’t know “how to tell if your boyfriend is gay”, all of the above factors can be helpful. However, keep in mind that it’s not your fault; it can occur in both new and long-term relationships because people’s sexual orientation can occasionally change. So, instead of blaming yourself or him for their behavior, stay calm and make an informed decision.
